Black Rain -- First 5.9 Sport Lead

I just led my hardest route yesterday at Pilot Mountain.  Although apprehensive about the send, especially the first precariously positioned bolt which took me a while to clip into, I was able to control my fear and make it to the anchors, just shy of running out of juice.  It was an interesting experience and one I won't forget.  My belaying partner, Demian, was quite patient with me, soliciting the occasional beta or reminding me to take my time.

One interesting thing about fear is that it overtakes you.  All the lessons learned and technique gained go flying out the window.  Panic modes kicks in, and then you just become a bundle of nerves with sweaty palms and shallow breathing.  Controlling this physiological reaction was harder than the actual route.  In the back of my mind, but not too far back, was the fear of falling (It would have been my first lead fall).  I don't think I was too scared of falling.  I was more scared of failing at something I knew I could do.  I would have been disappointed in myself, and letting oneself down is painful.  In my mind, I had already flashed a few tens and almost completed some 11's, so this route was well within my flash abilities, and the beta did indicate that it was a 5.9, not a 5.9+, not sandbagged route.

I should do this route again but in a calmer state of mind.  I think this would be a good mental exercise.  There are route variations that make it harder too, so that's an option.

Demain and I also climbed Thin to Win (5.10, TR, not flashed) and Chicken Bone (5.7, TR, flashed).  Thin to Win was tough but short.  I didn't want a project, so I had to make a second attempt to finish it after a couple of other climbers gave it a go.  The second time I still needed extra beta to finish it and even took an unexpected fall on TR before sending the crux.  Unexpected falls are unnerving to me.  I don't mind the ones where I know I can send, but a foot slip or losing my grip is a frustrating mistake.  Of course, now that I think back, I don't know why I couldn't send it the first time.  It's actually a fairly straight-forward 5.10.

For the record:

• Thin to Win (5.10, TR, not clean)
• Chicken Bone (5.7, TR, flashed months ago already)
• Black Rain (5.9, sport lead, flashed)